Small Town Lullabies by Subi Taba
The rooster roosts as the sun comes up in this small town
Life dusted with the rustic smell of small town-ness
The television has all the country and world news splattered to our eyes
But when we walk out of our home
The sight sinks into smallness of whispered stories
Everyone do what everyone else does
Everyone wear the same clothes
Everyone speaks the same language
Sameness is appreciated; sameness is assimilated
The world inside the television and outside our homes clank in dissimilar arguments
Our aspirations stay webbed within our feet on the small road
Strangling, trapping, stumbling us on the highway
Highway to life, to truth, to possibilities, to dare.
Whenever I come back home
It makes me crazy, sick, hopeless
My parent’s smile comforts the angst for sometime
But that’s not what truly means to me.
The idleness of home, the smallness of my room
Makes me feel smaller, more a shy person.
But I want to change
I want to change into better version
Big, without the ghosts of shyness and smallness
I guess that’s how some people are made to be
Sitting in home makes me so small and retarded.
I want to leave home
Walk, run, fly on the highway of life
On the road to self-discovery or self-destruction
Whatever but I want to do it my own way
I don’t want a hand to lead me
Nor I want an address to follow.
I just want to make my own discoveries
Because my life whispers me
“Why are you harbouring that spark, let it burst into flames?”
Walk, run, fly on my own courses
Without any inhibitions, any attachments
I want to live completely, I want to die completely
I don’t want to live in fragments!
I am sick of being small
I am sick of being not known
I am sick of being not followed
I want to be big
I want to be known
I want to be followed
I am from that state which is forgotten from the Indian map
I am from that topographically big but socially small and silent land
Where things are slow, office procedure are slow, traffic is slow
I am sick of that slowness
I don’t want that slowness to imbibe inside me
So I am leaving home to seek my destiny
To show the world what I’ve got
And one day I will come back home when I have lived a life.